“I have been thrown into the water without a boat or swimming lessons.”
This feeling has never been more familiar to me than it is now.
I have entered a new phase in my life and I am desperate to bring everything I love from the last chapter.
Most importantly, I am trying to be (remain) PRODUCTIVE.
That was my thing… Productivity. I boasted being able to work nonstop on multiple projects while being a good friend, brother, and son.
Now, for the first time, I have absolutely everything I have ever dreamt of achieving. True, dreams got bigger and there are more goals left to achieve. But, at this moment, as I write this, I have everything I hoped for before 30 years old.
It was all a trap.
Producing at such a high level, for such an extended period of time, led me to believe producing more would be rewarding– it is not.
My career has now taken up every space in my life and mind, leaving very little room for anything else.
I wish I did not like my hobbies. I wish I did not like creating Youtube and blog content. I wish I did not like writing my novels. I wish I was the way I was in law school or before, where this new world of finding hobbies did not exist for me.
With the pandemic, I discovered a new side to me. I am a teacher, I am a learner, and I like creating content for mass consumption. I do not even mind negative comments at all.
So what do you do when you discover something you love, which is difficult to do because of your real-life adult obligations?
It’s a scary thing to finally fall in love with something and not be able to fully invest because “I have to be practical. “
Now I am struggling to hold it all together without being burned out.
There is nothing I wish to turn my back on at this point. I know my career requires 100% of my focus when I am there working. But how much can I give to everything else?
How does one create a balance?
Themis, you are the best thing I’ve found on Beyoncé’s internet. I identify with so much that you say, it’s not even funny.