I cannot will myself to make this video. However, I can write my thoughts to change the impact. When has writing been more useful in conveying meaning?
I want to first apologize to the feminist. There is an undertone of misogyny, this belief is a part of every man born and raised in the western world. For this, I am sorry.
The conversation online is heartbreaking. It’s not the harsh words that bother me the most, rather the nihilism from which they come. Let me attempt to theorize, apologizing again for the hurt that may come from this very short essay.
Disclaimer, like Dostoevsky, I do not believe people are completely good or completely bad. I think this is important upfront.
You do not have to imagine being dominated. To be black in the western world is to know domination from the point of view of those being dominated.
We were neither kings nor queens. Truth be told, we were most likely prisoners of war in the motherland before we were sold off to be slaves in the new world. Historians rejected that European powers traveled to Africa then transverse unknown territory to fight and defeat so-called Africans to capture them and bring them to the new world.
A more likely story was that black people were being sold by stronger black people who defeated them in battles. Battles fought in Africa by Africans. Prisoners were also the most likely to be sold. The realization that we were most likely not kings and queens dethroned by European powers did not come to me with any comfort. In the heat of an argument, the son of a Nigerian chief, not verified, reminded me that my people, black people in the west, were the unwanteds, sold off by his ancestors. His argument fundamentally was that I should know my place.
What does this have to do with the conversations online today?
I think we, I, expect too much of black men in the ‘so-called’ western world. We have accepted defeat. What I thought was an ongoing battle is probably a victory lap. Maybe we have lost the battle and these men online are just doing what people have done for centuries when they lost– they are negotiating their surrender.
“The black women are too masculine. They are not soft submissive or corporative. They want too much, they do not provide enough. Other women are better.”
This is surrender! Please make no mistake.
Let me rephrase the sentiment they spew above.
“My community has failed. I did not build a community that I am proud of and I do not like the women in that community as I did not create media that lionized blackness as the standard of beauty. Therefore, I will leave the community and go praise other people who put in the work, through domination of others, to build their community. I prefer this community that other people built.”
Part two coming shortly…
This has needed to be revealed for a long time … it explains a lot of things … conquered because ALREADY conquered … broken partially already … nonetheless, our ancestors DID survive conditions far worse than they survived in Africa, and in the years up to 1965, they got quite a lot done that the three following generations have not. My father is a living BM, along with my grandfathers who have passed on, who were among those not giving up … but my father is 85. I have searched for his peer among my peers … in vain.
Harriet Tubman, the story goes, was praised for freeing 300 slaves, and said “I could have freed 1,000, if only they had known they were slaves.” That suggests as many as seven out of every ten THEN, in situations we feel we could never be comfortable in, had given up everything but survival. The idea of persistent brokenness does seem to emerge, and if once considers that the big push toward freedom did not begin until BLACK WOMEN began to be imported in large numbers in the 1800s …
I think this short essay begins with a had truth that is important for the people who actually care about the community to except. I appreciate that you thought to take the time to discuss the toxic environment some of the YouTube channels spew. Too bad you have decided against publishing the rest. Thanks for all that you do.
Hmm… I think this is really interesting, as well as bit morbid. But I get it 🙏.
I would ask though. How does this explain the ego of men? Meaning – from what I hear and understand, it seems like some men feel as if they are the ones that carry more value and should be “convinced” in choosing women of their own race? If that makes sense.
I also understand your passage about negotiating surrender. It reminds me personally of the stages of grief in a way. There is a loss that has yet to be accepted and what we are witnessing is the response to that.
I am not sure why you are not going to publish your work. I believe you to be a truth seeker ( truth as best we understand it ).
You have been brave thus far and not a self silenced person.
I wanted to offer a different perspective on race but was told not to challenge the current messaging and theories because they are gaining hold in society and as black people we need to present a united front. I was been asked to self censored for the “greater good ” as a black person with a different perspective I am concerned that the new anti racism as expressed in Books such as White fragility and “How to be anti racist” along with activist movement BLM are no longer open to critique because they have defined criticism itself as racist including black people wanting to critique their ideas and hold it to rigourous standard. As a legal person you understand better than most the importance of challenge in truth seeking process and be put under unpleasant pressure to justify one’s self in court.
If we for any reason feel that are thoughts words cannot be read or spoken then we as black people for justice are sewing a central seed in the distruction of democracy it is that serious. If you feel like me it is not safe or appropriate to speak then there in lies the true problem. I for one hope you will publish the rest of you essay.
I wish we lived in a world where when/ because you hear the truth you simply take Responsibility/Accountability @Themis . Unfortunately we live in a world where when you hear truth you act as you are a wounded dog ,cause truth be told you like wandering the streets with no warm, comfortable, loving home to protect. So how dare someone who see stray mutts put a call to action so no one gets ran up on, attacked or bitten? How dare you call on the vulnerable neighbors to ask if they have an issue with the neighborhood and the mutts running around causing fear and terror? Who are you? Well sir I do hope you Finnish calling of the attention to the vulnerable ones of the community ,but again with the world we live in people are more likely to act like animals so I understand. Stay safe.
I love it Themis! Looking forward to part two!
LOVED IT, IT’S ACCURACY AND THE OPEN AND DIRECT HONESTY.
PLEASE PROCEED. I’M BEGGING YOU. IT’S TIME.
That was inspired. THE MOST HIGH has imbued you with the ability to eloquently cram the truth down people’s throats. May HE protect you from all hurt, harm, and danger.
You have a responsibility to enlighten your people and the rest of mankind I know you aren’t trying to hear that, but don’t hide your light under a bushel.
I agreed with ever word you wrote, thus far; and if I disagreed with some of the essay as it continues, that’s okay. That happens in a thought exchange.
Sadly, I understand why you wouldn’t want to post more of this. The need for safety and emotional considerations running parallel to the thought that, the exposure and cleaning of this particular wound. Could lead to significant healing.
Unfortunately, this feels like a “family” conversation. In a family where there’s no space safe to have this conversation.
But, isn’t *that* the story. That’s the issue.
As the decendants of people who spent entire generations living in survival mode.
We’ve always been silenced. Exchanging knowing looks as we dance between the cracks of egg shells.
Somebody had to survive. Somebody had to take care of the kids. Not every BM was John Henry and yet, even John Henry created a SINGLE BLACK MOTHER.
Check the source of his’tory
Somebody surrendered a long time ago, they just don’t know it.
That last paragraph is everything–the icing on the cake. Also, I absolutely agree with your conclusion of what is happening in the community, but I am shook that some from the continent consider the “traded” as the unwanted. I mean, it makes sense, but to hear it put that way hits different.