It is a necessity that leaders have compassion. Additionally, when we continue to excuse a leader’s bad behavior, we push them towards becoming a tyrant– particularly when they lack compassion.
Please care for your flock.
If we are to grow, we have to be honest. Honesty is not only required regarding the person looking back in the mirror but also with the people around us. What do we consume?
Are we looking to heal? Or are we attempting to hurt others? Maybe the “others” might be the ones who’ve caused us pain.
Can we seek justice ourselves in the process of healing? Or does this healing require us to let go of the pain?
As I sat in the darkness that consumed so many spaces and realized that this darkness did not bring rest, I had to acknowledge the painful truth about a lot of what we are experiencing. Here we go.
The low vibrational people and things are loved not for their value but because of familiarity. If nostalgia is the biggest marketing tool for Hollywood, I am sure it is also being use to get us to stew in hatred, resentment, and pain. These are all negative emotions, yet we can choose to stay there because it is familiar; the fright of the unknown keeps us locked in the painfully familiar toxin.
Still more…
But there is a lot more to this. Are we so willing to lie to ourselves that we are unable to see people for who they are? Do we fear being told, “I told you they were no good”? Is this fear enough to have us lie to ourselves about the character of those we follow?
I believe we are better than this. We have to be. We are better than allowing ourselves to be fooled into complacency because we so desperately want a leader. You have the right to ask questions that speak to the character of people. You have the right to walk away when people’s language and behavior are inconsistent with who you would like to become.
I cannot understand why we excuse bad behavior and abusive language because we follow someone. On principle, it is not ok, so why pretend it is because it is someone you like that engages in bad behavior. HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE.
Do not let this slip away, then let that slip away. If you do, you will wake up one day lying to yourselves, “I don’t know this person.” You do know them. You’ve always known them.
It is in their language, it is in their anger, it is in their energy, it is in their actions.
Discernment. Discern.
Honesty with yourself means you can admit you like a “ratchet mess” without living in it or promoting it.
Honesty means you acknowledge the discomfort you feel at the sound of their voices; instead of pushing it aside, you check it and analyze the “why” and the “where”?
Why do I feel like this?
Where is this feeling coming from?
We cannot always discern who is honest and who is right. But in cases where it is obvious– please take the time to try.
For our community to grow, we will have to make tough decisions about letting go of familiarity. If “familiar” were what we wanted, the cry for change would be a moot point.
Let go of toxicity, not just in your life but in the people you interact with virtually.
Let darkness only bring peace through rest.
This was very thoughtful. As I was reading I myself was thinking about who I follow in an online space and am I also sitting in toxicity because it is comfortable. It felt like someone who cares about you trying to help you. I did not feel attack I did not feel like this was coming from judgement but from love.
I must honestly say you post this at the perfect time. I need to read this and I will read it again meditate and apply it to my life. Sometime you know something but it’s like you need to see and hear it from someone else for it to resonate with you. Thank you.
Themis I hope you see this. Didn’t know how else to reach you. I watch your youtube sometimes. Wanted to let you know that the “welfare TBMOTH” trope is now being peddled by none other than Candace Owens on her platform. The whole video is worth a listen (she tosses Beyonce under the bus at one point) but starting at the 10 minute and 30 second mark she starts claiming that Black families were totally intact in the 1960s but Democrats couldn’t stand that and wanted to perform a lab experiment on Black America so offered welfare to TBMOTH. But then, and here’s where she contradicts herself, she says Black Americans were making more money than White Americans during the 1950s under Jim Crow, and racist President L.B Johnson wanted to “fix that” so offered welfare. What??? And then she says LBJ said “we will give you welfare but you cannot marry the father of your children”. Um, what? Which is it – Black Americans were married, or not? Black Americans had their own money and more than Whites (and hence didn’t need welfare), or not? And if Black Americans were making more than Whites WHY would anyone offer them welfare?
She makes zero sense here but is somehow trying to peddle the welfare TBMOTH myth.
Here’s the video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6h4molFrRm8
And then there’s Kevin Samuel’s fan “The Crimson Cure” who write in her “about” on her Youtube channel:
About Me
My name is Kendra (my government name), but I’m also known around the Black Manosphere as DJ Fish Grease. That’s because I COOK, and I’m talking DEEP FRY, the foolishness that goes on in our communities. I’m really not a mean person, I just have a low tolerance for people, groups or institutions that play games with the lives of people I love. Like many of you, I fought the clutches of feminism (by extension, the gynocracy) all my life and I have happily supported Red Pill men throughout my lifetime (my father, husband, son, family members and friends.) I consider myself a Red Pill woman since birth. I was in a 20 year marriage before my husband passed away. He and I raised two children together (I have no biological kids, I raised my brother and sister practically from birth.) I belonged to a local Baptist Church but converted to Islam at the age of 18 – so I have a connection and a strong knowledge of both. I currently live in Chicago with family, not the good part unfortunately 🙁 …Go Bears!
—-
So if she was surrounded by “good red pill men” her whole life, why … “I currently live in Chicago with family, not the good part unfortunately.” Why doesn’t she live in the good part of Chicago? Her good red pill me couldn’t take her out of the hood and set her up in a nice part of town? Make it make it sense.
I wish you had a call in show Themis so we could discuss this.
Hi Themis. I tried to post this before but I don’t think it went through;
I watch your youtube sometimes. Wanted to let you know that the “welfare TBMOTH” trope is now being peddled in mainstream media by none other than Candace Owens on her platform. The whole video is worth a listen (she tosses Beyonce under the bus at one point) but starting at the 10 minute and 30 second mark she starts claiming that Black families were totally intact in the 1960s but Democrats couldn’t stand that and wanted to perform a lab experiment on Black America so offered welfare to TBMOTH. But then, and here’s where she contradicts herself, she says Black Americans were making more money than White Americans during the 1950s under Jim Crow, and racist President L.B Johnson wanted to “fix that” so offered welfare. What??? And then she says LBJ said “we will give you welfare but you cannot marry the father of your children”. Um, what? Which is it – Black Americans were married, or not? Black Americans had their own money and more than Whites (and hence didn’t need welfare), or not? And if Black Americans were making more than Whites WHY would anyone offer them welfare?
She makes zero sense here but is somehow trying to peddle the welfare TBMOTH myth.
Here’s the video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6h4molFrRm8
More mess: right-wing black republican anti-abortion politician exposed by ex-mistress for pressuring her into having an abortion while his bi-racial son drags him for having 4 kids by 4 different women and not being home to raise a single one. Video here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=910isxN34cQ
Even more mess: Lauren Hill’s “polygamous” music video director’s daughter (1 of his 21 children by many different women) says he raped and impregnated her as well as raped her sisters. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5CN0imRb70